


You Can't Touch This

by Shadow_Of_Castiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-28
Updated: 2010-04-28
Packaged: 2017-10-09 05:16:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/83424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadow_Of_Castiel/pseuds/Shadow_Of_Castiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer curses Castiel and there is only one way for Dean to break that curse ...</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can't Touch This

**Author's Note:**

> YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS!
> 
>  
> 
> [ ](http://photobucket.com/images/mc%20hammer)
> 
> That is all.

Dean didn't know when or who had cursed Castiel or how long he'd even been cursed; all he knew was that the angel had turned up in the most current Winchester motel room, dancing like MC Hammer and proclaiming every so often that they couldn't touch this. Sam had watched transfixed for quite some time, hazel eyes wide and mouth even wider as Castiel did a bizarre form of the running man dance in the far corner, a glower evident over his handsome face. Dean meanwhile was laughing hysterically at the beleaguered angel, tears forming in his eyes as he leant over to prop his hands on his knees for support.

"Shut up, Dean, this isn't funny. You can't touch this," Castiel said, voice dark and tight with anger.

"It is funny, Cas! And who says I can't touch this?" Dean asked, between gales of laughter.

"I said it. You can't touch this," Castiel said, going through yet another repetition of his MC Hammer dance.

"Yeah, yeah, Cas, I got it. Now who did this to you?" Dean asked, straightening up, even though laughter remained in his face, his eyes, his voice.

"If I tell you, will you promise not to laugh, Dean? You can't touch this," Castiel said, cheeks flaming with embarrassed ire as he started to tire.

"I won't laugh, Cas, and I can touch what I like," Dean replied, as Sam stood to peer closer at the flailing angel, brows furrowed with intent scrutiny.

"It was Lucifer," Castiel said, cheeks flaming brighter still with embarrassment at what must have been a painful memory. "You can't touch this."

"Lucifer? Why did Lucifer make you dance like MC Hammer, Cas?" Sam asked, speaking for the first time since the angel arrived.

"Because I wouldn't join him in the fight against Heaven. You can't touch this," Castiel said, with some shame.

"Well, that's gotta be a good thing, hasn't it?" Dean asked. "Right?"

"How is any of this a good thing, Dean?" Sam asked, turning to face as his brother as Castiel continued to dance.

"Well, he didn't cross over to the dark side for a start. That's a good thing, right? Right?" Dean asked, looking as though he was fighting a losing battle just by saying the thing was good.

"Yes, Dean, but the fact remains that Castiel is left dancing like an idiot. No offense, Cas," Sam said, hurriedly, turning to face the angel with hands outstretched to placate the angel from possibly smiting him.

"None taken, Sam. You can't touch this," Castiel murmured, eyes going a little glazed as though the dance was getting too much for his body to handle.

"The dude can dance, though. Look at him," Dean remarked, standing back to watch Castiel with a certain sense of pride. "Who knew?"

"It's not natural though, is it?" Sam asked, quietly, as the first faint glimmer of amusement crept into his eyes.

"Maybe not, but he still can dance," Dean replied, as he stood next to Castiel and copied his movements flawlessly to make the angel feel better and not be quite so alone with his stupid dancing.

"We have to get this to stop, Dean. You can't touch this," Castiel said, smiling slightly at the now dancing hunter to show his appreciation for the moral support.

 

"Any ideas? 'Cos I'm getting pretty tired here," Dean complained, as his forehead beaded with sweat and his movements began to slow, breath harsh and ragged in his throat.

"You have to touch me, Dean. You can't touch this," Castiel said, looking shame faced again at what he'd said.

"Well, either you want me to touch you or you don't," was Dean's immediate response. "Touch you how?"

"You have to kiss me," Castiel replied, quietly. "You can't touch this."

Dean stopped dancing and stared at the still dancing angel, green eyes wide with disbelief as Castiel refused to look at him. He turned to look at Sam who now was doubled over with helpless laughter over hearing his brother had to kiss the angel.

"Now this I have to see," Sam said, after Dean had slapped him around his long haired head several times to get him to stop laughing. "You have to do it, Dean. It's the only way you're gonna get him to stop."

"I've gotta kiss Cas, Sammy," Dean hissed through gritted teeth as he shot a glance at the still blushing angel. "He's never been kissed, dude. He's not gonna like it."

"He will, Dean. Have you seen the way he stares at you?" Sam retorted, with a roll of his eyes when Castiel turned large blue eyes onto him.

"Shut up, Sammy, you don't know what you're freaking talking about," Dean said, as he turned away and Castiel typically tracked him with his intent gaze. "And if you tell me not to touch you one more time, Cas, I really won't."

"Well, get on with it, then," Sam yelled, making Dean flinch. "And he won't tell you not to touch him any more."

Dean grumbled a string of obscenities beneath his breath before he pointed viciously at his brother.

"You owe me a huge slice of pie for doing this, dude," he growled, before smacking his lips together in readiness for kissing the angel.

He darted in, planted a big wet kiss on Castiel's cheek, but the gesture was to no avail; Castiel still kept dancing like MC Hammer.

"It didn't work. Why didn't it work?" Dean asked, turning first to Castiel then to Sam.

"You have to kiss me on my mouth, Dean. You can't touch this," Castiel mumbled shame-facedly.

"Your - where?" Dean asked, green eyes stretched wide and blinking at the news.

"My mouth, Dean. You can't touch this," Castiel said, blue eyes flickering up to meet Dean's astounded gaze hopefully.

"You're joking, right? You're gonna tell me this wasn't Lucifer's doing and it was your idea all along, aren't you? I knew you wouldn't be able to resist me for long," and Dean looked inappropriately pleased with himself.

"I don't think so, Dean. I doubt Castiel even knows who MC Hammer even is, let alone choose to dance like him," Sam pointed out, calmly.

"What he said," Castiel said, with a definite nod as he proclaimed the world at large couldn't touch this.

Dean sighed, then slotted himself around the wildly dancing form of Castiel and pressed a wet kiss to Castiel's mouth, hopefully. To his surprise, the angel did, indeed, stop dancing, yet neither stopped kissing for a while.

"Dean, you can stop now," Sam pointed out after he'd cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"He was kissing me back," Dean said in his own defense after he'd pulled away from the angel.

Sam just shook his head at his incorrigible brother, before he turned his gaze to Castiel again.

"Now why did Lucifer say Dean had to kiss you to stop you from dancing?" he asked, scratching his fingers through his hair in confusion.

"My brother always did have a strange sense of humor," Castiel replied softly, before disappearing suddenly from the room.

"Way to love 'em and leave 'em, Cas," Dean said, snarkily before turning away. "Now about that pie you promised me, Sammy ..."

-fini-


End file.
